Wednesday, April 13, 2011

How To Save Your Marriage If You Are A Couple With Problems





Are you a couple with problems? Not just everyday problems, but ones that threaten your very relationship? If you are one of the many couples who want to know how to save your marriage, there is good news: it is possible, and it’s easier than you may think.

To pinpoint a solution, you first have to know what the problem is. And it’s not always the most obvious problem, either. Many times, it is something that has been lying dormant, festering, and building momentum. In fact, it often starts with something that is seemingly not what a person is focusing on. But once the floodgates of emotions start to pour out in a heated discussion, it becomes evident that the most obvious reasons for feeling apart are not the only ones.

That is why communication is so vital in a marriage. When couples date, they talk about everything- even things that other people would not find interesting. But to a couple, hanging off of the other person’s every word is what builds the relationship and, over time, causes them to want to share every moment- whether it is a defining one, or not.

But once couples settle into marriage, things change. Conversations become less frequent, and shorter. Things that used to matter are now just an ordinary occurrence. That’s when life takes over and puts communication in the back seat. Putting less emphasis on talking means shutting down sooner, and over smaller and smaller issues.

At the same time, it also means putting less urgency on the important matters. Serious issues become less serious, less serious ones become blasé, and ordinary issues become irrelevant. Downgrading our feelings and our emotions becomes second nature and requires less talk.

This is the time to revert back to dating. Going back to a time when everything was important is what needs to happen. If it were once important, it still should be- regardless of how many other things are crowding our lives. Despite the cliché, talk is not cheap- it is imperative. Without communication, everything else starts to crumble and those things that used to matter no longer hold significance.

It might even become necessary to have scheduled talking time. This might sound a little extreme, but forcing time to sit together to reflect will start a pattern. Soon, the pattern becomes a habit, and later on, an obsession. Want to know how to save your marriage? It’s simple: remember how to talk to one another.
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