Friday, September 17, 2010

Can This Marriage Be Saved



Can This Marriage Be Saved - Perhaps

If you find that your relationship with your spouse is in a lot of trouble, you have probably asked yourself "can this marriage be saved?" No matter how bad it may seem, the answer is that it most likely can be saved. Even though the divorce rate is far too high, virtually every marriage can be salvaged, as long as the couple is willing to do whatever it takes.

However, there may be some marriages that are not worth saving, at least not in their current state. If you are in a marriage that is mentally or physically abusive, then asking if it can be saved is not the right question. Then you need to ask if you can be saved from the relationship. It's not easy, but it is critical that you get out. Perhaps your spouse will change, but you need to make sure, and see solid proof before you give them a second chance. Luckily, such exceptions make up only a small fraction of all marriages.

So, back to the question of whether or not your marriage can be saved. Well, it can only be saved if you want it to be saved. And, the fact that you are reading this is a good sign. However, take some time to seriously reflect upon whether or not you really want it to be saved. It's okay to answer no, so long as you answer honestly and after plenty of thought. Either way, something as important as a marriage shouldn't be taken lightly.

Now, if you have given it enough thought, and decided that you still love your spouse, and that you would like to stay married, then you are already on the right path to making it work. And it will take work. It's better to be up front about it, than it is to give you false pretenses and say it will be easy. It will take commitment and effort, but most things worthwhile do.

The first thing you have to do is talk to your spouse. You need to let them know that you think your marriage is in trouble. They will either agree, or have no idea whatsoever. But you need to open the lines of communication on the issue if you want to move forward.

Note your spouse's reaction as you bring up the subject. Are they shocked, sad, angry, hurt or confused? Whichever it is, respond accordingly. This will be your first opportunity to show you care about your spouse and keeping your marriage together. You have to remember that you are most likely catching your spouse off guard so try to be understanding of their feelings.

The next step is to commit to making things work out. You will also need to have your spouse's commitment to do the same thing. Granted, you may have to explain your reasons for why you're asking can this marriage be saved, and let them know you would like it to be saved.

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